Doce Margarita Madness

Stardate 64207.4
21:43 - Put yourself in my unique situation. On Monday (stardate 64182.8), a friend of mine challenged me to drink ten (diez) margaritas on one of the Ozonas $1 margarita nights because the next few are free until you pass out.  Well, I never go looking for trouble from anyone or anything, but it finds its way to my doorstep easily enough. This 'challenge' was going to be nothing but trouble for me. As you well know, Focus Foxies, I sure as hell never back down from a challenge. Without a moments hesitation, I accepted this challenge. How hard could it be? I spent the next week mentally prepping myself and advertising the event to anyone I could. It was going to be a spectacle. Also, half of the deal was that if I did not finish the drinks then I would have to pay for them myself, and I'm broke. Once I started down this path of margaritas, forever would it control that night's destiny.

The strategy for achieving this feat consisted of drinking margaritas really fast. This strategy received two criticisms.  The first being that I would be sloppy in a matter of minutes if I decided to chug, and the second being I might get brain freeze. Truth be told, I preoccupied myself with preventing the latter from happening. Besides, who worries about getting sloppy when they embark on a mission to drink 10 margaritas? Its like worrying if you are going to be chilly on the planet Hoth because all you ever have known are the warm sands of Tatooine. Its inevitable. Of course, there is always the pesky problem of heart burn to worry about as well. I would have modified my strategy, but we arrived at 21.42 only to find that $1 margaritas end at 23.00. Do or do not; there is no try.

To add a scientific research aspect to this project, we calculated the utility of each of the first ten margaritas.  I personally defined utility as how the margarita tasted and how I felt at that point. I assigned each value out of ten, and then a tally was marked on my right hand. We started this journey pretty low, but things started picking up intensity when the tequila started sinking in. I'm not sure why we did this experiment, but I think my friend and investor gets a tax ride-off for sponsoring research or donating to charity cases such as myself.

I finished 11 margaritas and was able to start on my 12th one for the twelfth man.  I was victorious in my challenge with only rubbing salt in my eye once, giving up one crazy story about Costa Rica, and explaining my Mom's views on President Obama.  The real story happened after I stopped drinking and the tequila had its chance to wreck havoc on my mental capabilities. So warning, if you choose to enter this challenge, you might experience one or more of the following. First, I told an inordinate amount of details about my past boyfriends and my past in general. The last time I told that much information about how I tick, I was watching the sun rise over the Caribe with a man from Cameroon (see Stardate 64051.5). I mean I blabbed about why I chose to go into economic development and how possessive my ex was. Craziness. Secondly, because we were getting so deep into my life, I decided to tell people that my life's theme song was "Gettin' By" by Jerry Jeff Walker. After, my friends dropped me off, I started listening to the entirety of the Great Gonzos album, and I thought (and said out loud to myself) that if the world really wanted to make a connection with me, you would have to sing the words to "Redneck Mother" with me. So, apparently drunk Michele has a connection to Layne (because we have sung this song randomly together in CR) and eight ninths of the redneck world.  There is no explaining this one. Next, you might think that the fact that you conquered the challenge is equivalent to graduating from college, winning a gold medal or finishing an IronMan competition. In turn, this may cause you to do the following: start crying to Kyle about how sad you are to not have your college family by your side, write a guilt trip on your good friend Bethany's wall about her lack of attendance, and write an incoherent message to James about how it meant a ton for him to show up. All of this was deemed unnecessary drama in the morning. Do not get me wrong; awesomeness was achieved. The tears, guilt trips, and exaggerations were not necessary.  But thanks guys for the support, except for you, Bethany. Lastly, you might start thinking a ton about your family. You might write a message to your sister telling her about how awesome she is and then, write a poem about your family. That seriously occurred.  That pretty much wraps up the struggles that I went through on Monday. After all it was just another Monday night, and I'm just carryin' on an ol' family tradition.

Special shout-out to: Bush School peeps (who wont be named because of their impending job search), Alex LaBelle (You doubted, son. Never again.), James (Thanks for giving up engineering to witness all 10 margaritas), Kyle ( you were there, but you just drinking beer), Greg (who bought the 11th) and Crew, and the random engineers that knew both James and Alex.