What I Miss About Costa Rica

Stardate 64170.5

10:11 - Last night one of my friends texted me:

"Yall are all prob asleep but do you hate being back in America?"

I did not get this text until the morning because I probably was asleep.  But even this morning, I had no idea how to answer her question. Although Costa Rica is not a world apart from the US, the small, subtle differences between the two countries alter so much in my life. So to answer your question (the best I can), Meaghan...

I miss seeing mountains on my way to school. I miss getting cat calls on my way to class. Here, I could dress extremely hot and not turn a head. I miss being surrounded by flowers and hummingbirds when I step out the door. I miss Fofo's on Monday night and having a care free attitude and a crowd that I knew there. I miss Miraflores both mi barrio y la discoteca. I can't stand not going to a beach on the weekends. I can't stand living in a country in which Puerto Viejo is not in. I can't stand not hearing Ziggi when I walk down the streets. I can't stand not being able to go dancing when I want to. I hate not feeling as independent as I was in Costa Rica. I felt invincible when I walked through Heredia or San Jose. I never felt in danger. I hate not feeling like everyday I was learning something either about Spanish, myself or the world around me. 

I feel trapped here in College Station. There has been many times that I felt like dropping school in the middle of the year and joining the Peace Corps. Looking around at the people next to me in class, I have no experience compared to them and shit for grades. I spent my last year "serving" and now, I have no direction. In the future, my options will be better. If not, I am off to the Peace Corps for a few years until I get it sorted out. But Meaghan, hang in there. Life may never return to normal, but it doesn't mean the life in the States has to be rough. Picture it as another foreign country that you are visiting and power through it.