Czech-Tex Restaurant

Stardate 64233.7
12:24 - When a Texan fancies she'll take her chances, chances will be taken that's for sure.  We were eyein' the prize some call kolaches (Czech pastries). So Mark, Bethany and I took our chances (after a night of reveling on the gates of North), and we trekked to Snook, Texas to find what has been described to me as exquisite kolaches.  Deep in the heart of Snook lies the Czech-Tex Restaurant, a Texas inspired Czech restaurant. Head north ten miles from College Station to the Czech-Tex restaurant which specializes in steaks and kolaches.  We arrived at the crack of 9.30 am to find the smell of kolaches greeting us at the door. We were told to help ourselves to whatever we pleased. Our choices seemed limitless, but we settled on getting sausage, apple, pineapple, cream cheese, and jalapeño and cheese sausage kolaches.  

My favorite one was the apple kolache, which consisted of a sweet apple filling cradled in some delectable and soft dough. Many people mistakenly believe that sausage and/or ham are the only types of kolaches, but the sweet kolaches are the original type of kolaches. Bethany favored the jalapeño sausage kolaches to the regular sausage because of the extra kick to them. Mark went back for seconds on the cream cheese kolaches, so it may be safe to assume, Focus Foxies, he fancied them. At 92 cents a piece, feel free to go back for seconds or thirds; they are that good.
So why wake up and go to Snook, Texas for kolaches, when we have donut shops in College Station? For me the answer is simple: I have an obsession for great kolaches. Being part Czech myself, I love finding good home cooked kolaches and people with the same love for these tasty treats. Czech-Tex delivered on both accounts. The second reason lies in the misconception that the Brazos Valley does not have authentically good food. We might not be Houston, but what we do (Czech, German, and Tex-Mex), we do it well. I am making it my mission to correct this misconception starting in Snook. So, take your chances while you reside in the Brazos County, and go grab a real kolache.

"Muffin?" - Bethany

"What?" - Me

"Waffle?" - Bethany

"Adorable." - Mark

Stand Up Comedy in College Station

Stardate 64230.8
10:32 - As I caravan around the greater Bryan College Station area looking for adventures, I caught wind of my friend doing stand up comedy on open mic night.  Wednesdays, Schotzi's hosts amateur comedians, so Kyle and others put themselves up to this challenge of producing laughs. With a $5 Ziegenbock pitcher special, how hard success be?

"Now who are the engineering majors here?"--Rich

(Krishna is the only one who raises his hand)

"Yea, they are the ones that never get any"--Rich

"So who are the Liberal Arts majors here? Yea, that guy is gay. Drama major"--Rich

(He was pointing at Mark)

They did have a 'professional' comedian come to town, and he made short work of the Family.  After this, Mark became the target of some heavy duty (but hilarious) accusations throughout this guy's routine. Charlotte and I just sat back and could not keep from laughing our tails off.

"You can't keep a fat man at that temperature." -- The First Comedian

And yes, there were some struggles. Focus Foxies, I will dispense some advice for you about what I learned from these stand-up comedians. First, I will start with what not to do. Do not lie. As you can see above, we see through your lies, even if they are funny lies. I have heard stories of one fat man being able to live in College Station Summers without A/C, and the only time I have ever heard him complain is when his skinny Mexican friend leaves the A/C on at 60 degrees. True Story. Even more heinous of a lie (made by many a comedian that night) was the one where they are trying to scare girls away or taking one home the other night.  You never want to start out a scenario and have no one believe you. It ruins the punchline.   So if I have to hear about how some skinny nerd 'was taking another girl home who was you know 'Crazy'' or how some fat guy wants to 'scare away his girlfriend because she is showing him attention', I am going on the heckling spree, and the comedian's routine and reputation will be shot.

"Drive-by Haikus" -- Ginger Kid with soul

What does work? Going with your own style. The Ginger Kid served as a paragon of doing it your own way.  This comedian literally pulled out a Haiku to back up his point that the pen indeed is not mightier than the sword/gun. Likewise, Kyle was helped by applying his technique. He did not try to imitate other comedians or come up with jokes that are not his own. He did come up with new material for once, and we were all eternally grateful. 

"My girlfriend likes that joke." -- Kyle (fake British accent employed)

"Its true; I like that joke"-- Charlotte (real British accent used)

Brazos Bingo

Stardate 64210.3
23:09 - While the masses sojourned to the Hall this Thursday night, I found myself at Brazos Bingo (near Hwy 6 and Briarcrest).  I might have been born to ramble, but never really to gamble, even in small doses. However, when Meaghan tells you to "Venga!"  you go. Now for those of you who have never been to bingo, it is a big deal to those who go.  Thursday nights are half price nights; for $5 you can get 12 boards a round and two beers (about the price of a movies in Aggieland).  This investment can lead you to win about $100-$375; not half bad. But what you really are paying for is the people.

Oh the people you will see... you already know that I went with Meaghan. Her roommate joined us in our gambling adventure; both of them supplied crazy stories about winning bingo, how bingo can be addicting after one try, and why they should never do drugs.  However, the star of the show was sitting in a wheel chair at the end of our row.  We first recognize her when she was trying to get the attention of another table because "[she was] tired of them fighting all them time and wanted to tell them to stop." It was obvious she had no idea who these people were. As she began to roll towards them, I took my camera out in preparation for something to happen.  She interpreted my camera as a pack of cigarettes; "Crazy Lauren, can I bum a cigarette from you. You know that my son went to go buy me a pack." That was the second time that day that I wished I had a pack on me, but no dice. She scooted by me to the other table to bum one there. She then rolled back to her spot to pull out her pack of cigarettes and her Tupperware of prescription drugs.  We were having a good time as the Bingo numbers were being drawn, when she asked, "Do you know why I am so happy?" Focus Foxies, I hadn't a clue. "It's because I died last year. I spent 6 months in a hospital and I died. In 2005, I spent 5 weeks in the hospital and I died then too. The Lord told me that if I wanted to live, all I needed to do was smile. So I'm smilin' now." Easy bargain to keep to keep on living. She went back to her game, and we refocused on our game. When the final card was passed out worth $600 to the victor, she came gliding up to us and instructed us to hold hands because we were going to pray the Bingo Prayer:

"Now I sit me down to play,

Dabbers up, and I'll pray. 

We got here Mary, Bob, and Jamie and Joe.

The Caller is up, we are ready to go.

The colors are bright, lets do it just right.

I hope to holler bingo tonight

                                     :), Amen"

At the end of the night, she told us if she was still alive, she would see us next Thursday. She is currently living in Caldwell and getting dialysis in College Station.  For as much fun as we had at her expense, I felt as if she had more considering all her time in the hospital.  Many people get in their own ways when it comes to doing what makes them truly happy. The excuses tend to pile up and the pursuit of happiness tends to stop in its tracks. But if she can come to a place that makes her happy despite her hospital time, how do our excuses compare? So if you are alive next Thursday, I hope you join us for some Bingo. 

Doce Margarita Madness

Stardate 64207.4
21:43 - Put yourself in my unique situation. On Monday (stardate 64182.8), a friend of mine challenged me to drink ten (diez) margaritas on one of the Ozonas $1 margarita nights because the next few are free until you pass out.  Well, I never go looking for trouble from anyone or anything, but it finds its way to my doorstep easily enough. This 'challenge' was going to be nothing but trouble for me. As you well know, Focus Foxies, I sure as hell never back down from a challenge. Without a moments hesitation, I accepted this challenge. How hard could it be? I spent the next week mentally prepping myself and advertising the event to anyone I could. It was going to be a spectacle. Also, half of the deal was that if I did not finish the drinks then I would have to pay for them myself, and I'm broke. Once I started down this path of margaritas, forever would it control that night's destiny.

The strategy for achieving this feat consisted of drinking margaritas really fast. This strategy received two criticisms.  The first being that I would be sloppy in a matter of minutes if I decided to chug, and the second being I might get brain freeze. Truth be told, I preoccupied myself with preventing the latter from happening. Besides, who worries about getting sloppy when they embark on a mission to drink 10 margaritas? Its like worrying if you are going to be chilly on the planet Hoth because all you ever have known are the warm sands of Tatooine. Its inevitable. Of course, there is always the pesky problem of heart burn to worry about as well. I would have modified my strategy, but we arrived at 21.42 only to find that $1 margaritas end at 23.00. Do or do not; there is no try.

To add a scientific research aspect to this project, we calculated the utility of each of the first ten margaritas.  I personally defined utility as how the margarita tasted and how I felt at that point. I assigned each value out of ten, and then a tally was marked on my right hand. We started this journey pretty low, but things started picking up intensity when the tequila started sinking in. I'm not sure why we did this experiment, but I think my friend and investor gets a tax ride-off for sponsoring research or donating to charity cases such as myself.

I finished 11 margaritas and was able to start on my 12th one for the twelfth man.  I was victorious in my challenge with only rubbing salt in my eye once, giving up one crazy story about Costa Rica, and explaining my Mom's views on President Obama.  The real story happened after I stopped drinking and the tequila had its chance to wreck havoc on my mental capabilities. So warning, if you choose to enter this challenge, you might experience one or more of the following. First, I told an inordinate amount of details about my past boyfriends and my past in general. The last time I told that much information about how I tick, I was watching the sun rise over the Caribe with a man from Cameroon (see Stardate 64051.5). I mean I blabbed about why I chose to go into economic development and how possessive my ex was. Craziness. Secondly, because we were getting so deep into my life, I decided to tell people that my life's theme song was "Gettin' By" by Jerry Jeff Walker. After, my friends dropped me off, I started listening to the entirety of the Great Gonzos album, and I thought (and said out loud to myself) that if the world really wanted to make a connection with me, you would have to sing the words to "Redneck Mother" with me. So, apparently drunk Michele has a connection to Layne (because we have sung this song randomly together in CR) and eight ninths of the redneck world.  There is no explaining this one. Next, you might think that the fact that you conquered the challenge is equivalent to graduating from college, winning a gold medal or finishing an IronMan competition. In turn, this may cause you to do the following: start crying to Kyle about how sad you are to not have your college family by your side, write a guilt trip on your good friend Bethany's wall about her lack of attendance, and write an incoherent message to James about how it meant a ton for him to show up. All of this was deemed unnecessary drama in the morning. Do not get me wrong; awesomeness was achieved. The tears, guilt trips, and exaggerations were not necessary.  But thanks guys for the support, except for you, Bethany. Lastly, you might start thinking a ton about your family. You might write a message to your sister telling her about how awesome she is and then, write a poem about your family. That seriously occurred.  That pretty much wraps up the struggles that I went through on Monday. After all it was just another Monday night, and I'm just carryin' on an ol' family tradition.

Special shout-out to: Bush School peeps (who wont be named because of their impending job search), Alex LaBelle (You doubted, son. Never again.), James (Thanks for giving up engineering to witness all 10 margaritas), Kyle ( you were there, but you just drinking beer), Greg (who bought the 11th) and Crew, and the random engineers that knew both James and Alex.

Wanted: One Electric Kettle

Stardate 64184.1
08:45 - Focus Foxies, I have discovered a grave lost amongst the Bush School community. As I woke up early today and trotted to the Bush School to achieve something meaningful before class today, I found that the one object that would enable me to do so had vanished. What I am talking about is the 'electric kettle'.  I am avid drinker of tea, and I need that kettle. How am I to read about the array of issues of poverty, hunger, crime, and unresolved social issues left over from colonial times facing the developing world if I do not have my hand packed in Sri Lanka, organic, English Breakfast tea inside of me? Well, I haven't a clue either. I searched all of the cabinets and drawers and the refrigerator to find my beloved, but the search proved to be in vain. Forced to take matter in my own hands. I jimmy-rigged the broken coffee maker into giving me fresh hot water, not old coffee tasting water that would ruin my tea. I understand that you have many issues facing you today. However, I have tagged enough people on facebook to this post to build a team of people to find it. Anyways, expect me to make a big deal about it in the Bush School SGA meeting today.  Perhaps, a task force would be appropriate, but I am just spit-balling here.  I hope y'all help me find the kettle, and then, we can all return to normal. Thanks and Gig'em!

the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Mexican Food

Stardate 64181.7
09:13 - Now, I am not an expert on Mexicans, but I have certainly gotten my heart broken by a few too many. But along the way, I learned a bit about Mexican food that I will share with you, Focus Foxies. Specifically, over the past couple of weeks I had the (mis)fortune of eating both good mexican food, bad 'Mexican' food, and some straight-up UGLY Mexican food.

Good Mexican Food:

My friends cooked authentic Mexican food for me for a couple of dinners. I have to say it was pretty good, and dare I say, better than comida tica. Lo siento pero es la verdad. Dinner one included Chilaquiles, Mexican Rice, and soup. Chilaquiles consists of a really hot (by gringo standards) blended salsa with chips in the salsa. The best way to describe it would be that it is a 'casarole' of sorts with really good, fresh tomatoes and jalapeño salsa. Mexican rice is different from all other types of rice by the fact that the first part of the preparation consists of heating the rice up in a skillet and then afterwards adding a can of tomato sauce. The soup was pretty much pasta. Dinner two was made up of a dish called Tinga. Personally, I like 'Tinga' better, but I have no idea how to spell it. You layer a huge ship (I think its called a tostado), then beans, and then a mixture of a different salsa and shredded chicken. Very tasty, Focus Foxies. So complete these meals with a tecate, and you are doing awesome.

Bad Mexican Food:
Bad Mexican Food is what I cook. No joke. I mastered the art of cooking 'migas' which I learned from an ex-boyfriend, but I an not sure if it is authentic. I also add chorizo into the deal to make it better. Very simple dish. But where I really fail lies in my inability to cook rice. I burnt the Mexican rice that I cooked. Not only was it crunchy because of the burntness, the inside was not cooked all the way through, allowing for an extra bit of crunch. See Stardate 641689.

Ugly Mexican Food:
Taco Cabana is ugly Mexican food. Although it cannot be considered Mexican food by most people, and a few claim that it is 'Tex-Mex', but in all reality, it is failure. Thinly disguised as being more 'authentic' than Taco Bell fails to out preform its chosen benchmark of TB. At Taco Bell do you find people struggling like Kyle here>>
No, you do not. You find people who are eating cheap, cheap food at 3 in the morning. You find them not having to trek all of the BCS area to find their location because they are adjacent to the gates of North. So next time you are famished after your nightly activities take your $2 to Taco Bell, and save $2010 and get the same amount of food as Taco C or what ever the cool kids call it these days.

What I Miss About Costa Rica

Stardate 64170.5

10:11 - Last night one of my friends texted me:

"Yall are all prob asleep but do you hate being back in America?"

I did not get this text until the morning because I probably was asleep.  But even this morning, I had no idea how to answer her question. Although Costa Rica is not a world apart from the US, the small, subtle differences between the two countries alter so much in my life. So to answer your question (the best I can), Meaghan...

I miss seeing mountains on my way to school. I miss getting cat calls on my way to class. Here, I could dress extremely hot and not turn a head. I miss being surrounded by flowers and hummingbirds when I step out the door. I miss Fofo's on Monday night and having a care free attitude and a crowd that I knew there. I miss Miraflores both mi barrio y la discoteca. I can't stand not going to a beach on the weekends. I can't stand living in a country in which Puerto Viejo is not in. I can't stand not hearing Ziggi when I walk down the streets. I can't stand not being able to go dancing when I want to. I hate not feeling as independent as I was in Costa Rica. I felt invincible when I walked through Heredia or San Jose. I never felt in danger. I hate not feeling like everyday I was learning something either about Spanish, myself or the world around me. 

I feel trapped here in College Station. There has been many times that I felt like dropping school in the middle of the year and joining the Peace Corps. Looking around at the people next to me in class, I have no experience compared to them and shit for grades. I spent my last year "serving" and now, I have no direction. In the future, my options will be better. If not, I am off to the Peace Corps for a few years until I get it sorted out. But Meaghan, hang in there. Life may never return to normal, but it doesn't mean the life in the States has to be rough. Picture it as another foreign country that you are visiting and power through it. 

I aint got no job, I aint got no money, I aint got shit to do

Stardate 64168.9
08:16 - My student loans have not come through. Why? I have a few things missing, but I know I have taken care of them last week. Entonces, I called financial aid for the third time this week. The lady on the other side was talking me through the system, which I already know, but I patiently listen. She informs me that it will take two days. I ask that if Friday it does not show up, should I follow up...?

"You really want your money don't you?"- Lady

"Nah, Trick, I just want call into different offices around campus to see if they are efficient or not." - Me

"Really?" - Lady

"Puta, Porfa. SHOW ME THE MONEY!" - Me

That isn't how it went, but it is what I thought. She said that they would request the documents by Friday, but they might not show up until Monday. I understand that this is my fault, but I could use a bit of help. I am down to less than a hundred dollars to my name with no credit card to back up on.  This makes me a bit nervous. Once my loans come through and my sister repays me my $50.

13:02 - I apply for a job at Atkinson Toyota. I think that I am pretty much in, if they can find the hours. Here is hoping. While this is happy, this event struggles because I told my good friend that I got a lead on this job. He said that "Surely you can get a cooler job than that." Really? I am applying to every job I can. I mean every job. It sucks because this is the only lead I have had. So, I will stand out in 100 degree weather in rain or shine for minimum wage. 

19:09 - Well, I decide to cook up some food. I have really nothing left in my kitchen, but a few things. I am not to the point of being really hungry. However, I am saving an ounce of tomato sauce. I reheated my mom's porkchop and made a pork fajita. I made mexican rice, but I burnt it. What sucks is that no matter what....I have to eat it for lunch tomorrow. 

20:39 - As I have a whole post complaining about my issues. No one feel sorry for me. I will be fine. Being poor will do me good. Less drinking, loosing weight and a general appreciation for what I used to have. But seriously, I have turned off the AC for now and I am donating plasma tomorrow. They don't want you to have piercings in the past twelve months.... I might lie about that....