What A Little Girl's Made Of

Stardate 65281.5

12:00 - Last Sunday, I went to the double bout opener for the DC Roller Girls, which featured Scare Force One vs. Cherry Blossom Bombshells and DC Demoncats vs. Majority Whips. For me, the roller rink has become synonymous with broken hearts, the “love of my life” skating with someone else, and I believe Maroon 5's 'She will be loved' was involved. These ladies are opposite of me crying in the restroom. If you want a fight with them, you are going to get one, and you ain't even seen them crazy yet. They will show what a little girl’s made of roller blades and hip checks.

This full contact sport pits two teams of five women against each other. The teams consist of four Blockers and one Jammer; the Blockers stick in a pack and try to block the opposite team’s Jammer from passing. Each opposite team Blocker a Jammer passes around the rink scores a point for the Jammer’s team.  Blockers can hip check, booty block, and shoulder charge, but they cannot elbow or shove.  At one point, I saw two women collide with one woman tripping over the other’s head, rolling over her face, and skating away.  The woman on the ground just hopped back up and skated for the pack.

The opening bouts pulled in a great crowd. The first bout was a blowout with Scare Force One mopping the floor with the Cherry Blossom Bombshells. The second bout featured a brand new team majority Whips who beat the DC Demoncats by one point.  Focus Foxies, you are probably wondering which team I support. Considering only one team lost after having a double digit lead at half time, it is a pretty obvious whose side I want to be on.  DC Demoncats, you may have had a disappointing loss on Sunday, but you now have a lifelong fan in this Aggie.

A huge part of the sport is coming up with a name and number.  Each player makes up a new fierce name and a number to match that.  With these names, such as Obitchuary, Ovary Action, Stabagail Adams, and Nasty Pelosi, these women will terrify.  Also, each woman gets an introduction as they skate around the rink before the bout. For example: “She will wreak havoc every 28 days; its number 28 days Ovary Action.” If I ever I became a Roller Girl, I would need a kickass name and introduction.  I am thinking something like this:

“Swift like a fox, killer like a ninja. This Roller Girl will have her way with you. It’s number 2010 Foxy Vengence.”

This Sunday was awesome to watch women leave it all out on the floor in a tough brawl.  Most people think that football players have it rough. Their tackles may be big, but Roller Girl’s hits are bigger.

Focus Foxies at the game: Kat and Simon